4 years~

"Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experience."

Tired. Of course it is, when it comes to our 3 months struggling with books and questions. Magically and amazing, it's already 4 years. Another 2 years more, and another episode of life is waiting.

We strive together for these whole years

How fast time flies, it goes and never comes back. It flies freely, but priceless. Me, myself already 22 years living and breath freely inside my precious body, thanks to Allah. 

Tomorrow is our last paper for this 4th year exam. Happy inside and outside, the pressure already released, just the nervousness of waiting the result is still here. Congratulations to our juniors, 1st and 2nd year. Congratulations for those who passed, and for those who don't, don't be sad. Allah never do something purposeless. Just be patience and wait, your precious time is coming. InsyaAllah.

Thinking back about how much time I had spend studying human bodies, how they functioning, how they compensating, the progression of each disease, the process of recovery and so on. Still remember the first time I stand closely, lean my eyes on the Cardever, how my legs have the strongest urge to run, the smell. Funny. Now? Nothing. Swallowing hamburger while staring at those organs inside the jars, it's part of our life as a medical student. 

Sometimes I said to myself, how amazing it is being a doctor. Just by looking I can conclude a lot of diagnosis. Seeing a little boy running in front of me, bulging abdomen, thin limbs, I can say he may suffered from hepatomegaly by Bilharzia, or maybe Kwashiorkor. Maybe a little hyperbola. But at least the idea comes out. Can predict which organ was affected when they had jaundice, can predict what organ is enlarged when their abdomen bulged out. And that's the magic of being a physician. 

Human brain (congested)

4 years learning. But it's actually not enough for me to face a sick human being. To treat? Maybe not. If you ask me about why does this symptoms comes up, or this signs shows up, I can assure you, only part of them, just part of them I can answer. Maybe because of my 'not too hard' of studying caused me to be this lack of professional knowledge as a physician. I don't have that strong interest to search for an answer, to look for the exact condition. Just reading and memorizing University's Books, it's not enough. Never. 

2 years more. Is that enough for me to help those patients? 

The thing is, I must seed my interest, pay more attention on my profession as a doctor to be. Lack of interest is a disease of a doctor. And I must not let it spread all over my body. I must treat it, and make sure it doesn't recur. Yes, I love medicine. And each seconds I spend, will always be about it. I'll try. 

Hurmm... too much to say, but don't have much time to type. Tomorrow's paper comes first. By the way, wish me luck. With love, let us all pray for a better day tomorrow..